“I entered into this deal in good faith” said Devil, 45, “how was I supposed to know he didn’t have one? I mean, I feel violated. The thieving, lying, neo-con, megalomaniac imperialist, brutal, bent, bullying, greedy little bastard never had a soul to sell in the first place … it’s a disgrace — ‘They’ should do something about this sort of thing.”
Devil, weeping openly, went on to describe Murdoch’s outrageous offer of shares in lieu of a bona-fide soul: “what would I want with something like News Corp … I mean, you can’t sow lies and fear, cause untold suffering, start wars with Fox N … Ah … Urmmm … just a minute …”
Suddenly, I was alone, in the bar, choking on a cheap smoke bomb.
Subsequent enquiries were fruitless — it was as though he had never existed, his identity had been erased.
I looked up and Fox News was on the big screen in the corner, rolling news ticker telling it big, keeping it simple and saying it over and over again. Now, who said something like that? Some German bloke … Anton, Adolf, something like that.
And the Lord Rupert looked at his work, and even he saw that it was a load of crap, but this was the enterprise culture and it sold millions so it was good. And on the same basis he decided to take over the television too, and the earth itself wept, and little robins vomited, and cuddly furry animals threw themselves under trains, and the whole thing was filmed by Sky Channel for a horror nature programme, and the most awful thing of all was that this was just the beginning.Attila the Stockbroker
All of which is to say: Happy Birthday Rupert — I really, really, really hope it’s your last.